The Wait is FINALLY Over!

This is a blog post that, if I think about it holistically, has been nearly 9 years in the making. Most people at First Christian Church, Great Bend may not know that I had been outside of full-time church ministry since October 2011. As I tell anyone who's interested, it's not for a lack of trying. I was applying for ministry positions even before I left Forest Park Church. I had two employment leads in Asheville, NC as I planned to move there regardless after Jenny and I got married. I was 29, was a Fuller graduate with a M.Div. and had grown two student ministries successfully. I thought the next job would come easily and quickly. I had people telling me, "TJ, you can go anywhere you want" and I bought into that.

Jenny and I lived in Asheville for about 18 months and then moved back closer to home (Asheville is a 6-hour drive west from the coast) after Ava was born. I struggled to find work. I was told I was overqualified for many of the positions I applied for. I was unemployed for nearly 9 months! Many first-time parents would probably love to spend that time with their child but I found it unbearable. I loved Ava but I felt so worthless. In the summer of 2013, I began to apply to ministry positions all over the country. Beforehand, I was picking locales I was familiar with (Atlanta, NC, SE and northern VA, LA, etc.). I started to apply to places I couldn't even easily find on a map.

A handful of ministries were very interested in me. I was in the discussion amongst 2-4 other candidates in Gaithersburg, MD, Virginia Beach, VA, Fort Walton Beach, FL,  and Eagle Rock, CA. After many hours of interviewing, none of those positions came to fruition.

After a couple of part-time and spot jobs, I did land an Operations Director with Chick-fil-A in Elizabeth City. For about 2.5 years I either didn't apply (or only sporadically) to ministry positions. Chick-fil-A was great experience. It was a ministry because 80% of the staff was under the age of 25 and it was retail management experience, as well. (Truth be told, the owner of that Chick-fil-A and the Senior Minister at FCC, Great Bend not only favor physically but also personality-wise. It's quite uncanny.)

Long story short there, Ian (the Chick-fil-A owner) opened another store in Georgia and the new owner brought in his own leadership team, which demoted me. Hence the reason why I began selling cars in July 2017. Pretty much the whole time I was selling cars, I was applying for ministry positions. An Associate Pastor position in Grand Rapids, MI came down to a final interview but they turned me down for lack of preaching experience.

Fast forward a year and some change and we were invited to visit a large church in Davidsonville, MD. I felt confident that I would be hired but, for some reason or another, they decided to keep the current Youth Pastor in place instead of restructuring their staff. A few months later the Senior Pastor of that church had another church in Annapolis, MD reach out to me about a ministry position. I was flattered by it and was, again, confident that a referral would only enhance my prospects. I didn't make it past a second interview.

By that time, I had grown numb to rejection. I never kept count but I would guess that I have probably applied to about 200+ churches since 2013. I had countless interviews and got the dreaded, "we love you, TJ...we think you're a great candidate but (a) we've decided to choose someone affiliated with our denomination/church or (b) the fit isn't perfect.

Many, many times I was angry at God. I was wasting prime years of my health and career toiling in retail and sales job when all I wanted was to merge my job and my calling into one. The church were we attended for 5 years always encouraged me and vowed to use me for ministry roles but I was overlooked constantly.

Fast-forward to 2019. I actually had an interview to become a Senior Pastor at a church in Washington state. This time, the fit didn't seem right to me. I was asked to fill a pulpit for a small church about 30 minutes south of where we lived. I really feel like I could've pursued and obtained that Pastor position, as well. However, again, the fit wasn't right so I removed myself from consideration.

Fast-forward to April 2020. I was laid off from my job selling cars due to COVID-19. I went on unemployment benefits for the first time in my life. I decided that I was going to apply only looking at positions and not consider the location. I called recruiters and had experts critique my cover letter and resume. It was at this point that I began getting, not a large quantity, quality inquiries. There was a point in which I thought 5 ministry positions would all be good fits and they were all VERY interested. The ministry positions were in Hershey, PA, Glen Burnie, MD, San Jose, CA, San Antonio, TX and I was told through a recruiter about a position that wasn't quite on the market yet in Great Bend, KS.

I loved the volunteers and staff team I met in Glen Burnie but they thought I wasn't a perfect personality fit. I was excited to work with the young staff team members in Hershey but they thought, ultimately, that I was overqualified for a youth ministry position. The church in San Antonio had the building and resources that most ministers would covet but they went silent after a second interview. San Jose was particularly intriguing to me.

I had spent my seminary years in Southern California and was excited about the prospect of living and service in the innovation capital of the country, perhaps the world. The church there was diverse, multi-generational and the staff members were brilliant and personable. I REALLY WANTED TO BE THERE AND TO HAVE THAT JOB!

Then I had my first interview with First Christian Church, Great Bend. 

I met with Josh, the Senior Minister, over Zoom and we seemed to jive on most current issues and in theology. I had learned to take all of these interviews with a grain of salt so I didn't put much stock intothe "good vibes." The recruiter that hooked us up with FCC kept telling me, "I think you're the perfect fit for what they're doing in Kansas."

Jenny loved the idea of Kansas, being in a small, rural, safe town. I was thinking bigger. I was thinking, "if I can succeed in the Bay Area, I can succeed anywhere."

With those competing desires from Jenny and I in mind, we decided to start praying for "one door" to open. We didn't want to have multiple offers (which sounded ridiculous since I had been told no for 8 straight years), we wanted clarity from the Lord.

I ended up having SEVEN interviews with the church in San Jose. They stretched me A LOT during that process. After my third interview with FCC Great Bend, I was invited out with the notion that there was one other candidate in the running. 

While we were visiting Great Bend, KS, I was awaiting word from the church in San Jose. And, wouldn't you know it, I received a John Deere-email (country slang for a "rejection letter) from the Administrative Pastor from San Jose.

We were all-in and actually present in Great Bend. The visit went well. We met a lot of parents and students and all the staff. They seemed to like us and the feeling was mutual. As we were riding back to the airport in Wichita, Josh (the Senior Minister) didn't give us a tremendous amount of hope. He did say, "everything went well," but we had heard that many times before.

Another thing you have to realize is that, yes, by year 6, 7 and 8 I had grown numb to the rejections but the longer it went it, the more Jenny was getting discouraged and pessimistic. Another "no" and having to start over in applying again probably would've crusher her spirit.

Two days after being back home in NC, we got the call. "We want you to come to Kansas, brother!" Josh said. 

It felt surreal.

So many people knew the struggle that I've had for the past 8-9 years. Many were praying for me and offering constant words of encouragement. And what was I feeling?

I was still numb.

Jenny would ask me, "how do you feel?" All I could tell her is that, "it's not real, yet. I'm not there. I'll feel it when I'm there."

Well...I'm here.

I still can't really put my feelings together into sentences and paragraphs.

Once again, after nearly a decade, I get to do what I love AND get paid to do it!

The people here have been nothing short of a family to me already. We have been given meals, invited over, constantly texted/called/Facetimed as if we were long-lost friends that they were so happy to have back!

For once, I feel as if I'm back, in a way.

Jenny sent me text while I was on the 1500-mile route to Great Bend that said, "I can't wait to be with you in Kansas and see you as the man I married." I was only a pastor when we were dating. That was kept from me, while depression was an unwanted gift for a few years.

I'm writing this in my new office (which is even surreal to say) as a man renewed. Everyone kept telling me to trust in God's timing. I rolled my eyes at that for so long on the inside but, truthfully, I wasn't ready in 2013 or 2014. I wasn't really coachable. I had been successful but I needed to be humbled.

I am now.

I am beyond thankful. It wasn't a perfect story but nothing involving humanity is.

I live in Kansas now and I'm thankful to be here. Even more than that, I'm ready to make up for lost time LOL.

For those who have encouraged me, prayed for me, supported me....thank you so much!

For those who put up with me, to my family who didn't get the option to choose being related to me, thank you!

To those who have welcomed me in Great Bend, thank you!

To God be the glory!